Lily Reed Sex Therapy & Counselling
Frequently asked questions
Information for help seekers and referrers
01
What is a psychosexual therapist and what do they do?
A psychosexual therapist is a specialist counsellor who has undertaken additional studies to understand the body's sexual response cycle, sexual health, and reproductive health, in order to support clients experiencing issues of sexual functioning and psychosexual distress. A psychosexual therapist has also received additional training in supporting individuals with questions around gender identity, sexual identity, sexual expression, gender and sex-based discrimination and sexual trauma.
02
How long is a course of therapy?
A course of therapy generally ranges from 8 - 10 sessions, however depends on the client's goals and circumstances. Some people attend many more sessions, and some people attend less, deepening on their needs. Some clients enjoy sessions every 2 weeks to begin with, and then see Lily once a month to keep on-track. The time frame for going to therapy generally ranges from 3 months to a year.
03
Can I talk about other things in sex therapy?
Clients talk about a host of things in sex therapy - because a host of things in life have an effect on our sex lives! Sleep, mood, energy levels, injury, redundancy at work, retirement... you name it! Just like our physical health, mental health, social and emotional health, our sexual health is ever-changing and highly influenced by the body's overall state of being. See Lily's specialities to determine if Lily can help.
05
How do I choose between online or in-person appointments?
Lily's first sessions are online appointments, and from there you can decide if you want to stay online, or attend in-person appointments in Melbourne's West.
Online appointments can make help seeking more accessible. You can log in from anywhere and don't need to worry about travel or traffic.
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Face-to-face appointments can bring smoother conversation and deeper connection, and can help clients to stay motivated. Sometimes a change of scenery = a change of perspective. Lots of the couples Lily supports turn their in-person therapy appointments into a date night afterwards!
04
What are my rights as a client?
In accessing health and allied health services in Australia, you are protected by the Australian Charter of Healthcare Rights. You have a right to safety, respect, partnership, information, privacy, and the opportunity to provide feedback. A good therapist will check in with you throughout the course of therapy, and provide a clear pathway for you to express your needs and provide feedback. To find out more, click here.
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06
Who can refer a client to see Lily?
Most clients who see a sex therapist or counsellor are self-referred, and book an appointment from their own research or word of mouth. ​
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You do not need a GP referral to see a sex therapist or counsellor, however health practitioners may recommend their patient visit a sex therapist or counsellor for psychological support alongside their medical treatment.
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Health practitioners who often refer clients to sex therapists include GPs, Fertility Specialists, Urologists, Pelvic Floor Physiotherapists, Psychologists, and other Counsellors who have not completed additional training in treating psychosexual presentations.
07
What does the first session look like?
A first session can feel very busy, as your therapist will ask you lots of questions to understand your history, your reason for seeking support, your goals, and decide upon an approach to therapy that you both agree on.
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Sometimes sexual issues can be hard to talk about, although Lily's clients find comfort in hearing that there's nothing they can say that Lily hasn't heard before! If you don't feel comfortable answering a question, you can always skip that one or come back to it at a later date. Lily is all about meeting her client's where they're at, so if you take a bit longer to open up, that's ok too!
08
How do I know that my sex therapist/counsellor is practicing ethically?
Sex therapists and counsellors must abide by a Code of Ethics to protect their client's rights. Lily Reed is a Member of the Society of Australian Sexologists Ltd. She adheres to the Society’s Code of Ethics and Practice. To find out more, click here.​​
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Lily Reed is also a Member of the Australian Counselling Association. She adheres to the Society’s Code of Ethics and Practice. To find out more, click here.
09
Can you define sexual health and wellbeing?
The World Health Organization define sexual health as “…a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality..." (WHO, 2006a) See here for more information.
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Lily believes sexual health and wellbeing is a combination of acceptance and love for your sexual orientation, expression, self-esteem, safety, pleasure, intimacy, and connection more broadly. Sometimes we can't put our finger on anything being 'wrong', but things just don't feel quite right. Lily can explore this with you.
11
Does my therapist have to have experienced the same things I have to support me?
Your therapist may have experienced what you're going through, or they may not have, however the later does not mean they're not a good fit for you. Your therapist is a human being and is familiar with the feelings you are experiencing, and holds the knowledge and expertise to put themselves in your shoes to feel how you feel in that moment, which is a very powerful thing.
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Some clients like to know that their therapist has 'been around the bush' a few times, so to speak, which is understandable! However, your therapist is there to support you in your experience, not tell you about theirs. The most important part of the helping relationship is that your therapist makes you feel safe, heard, validated, and strong; one human to another.
10
Is Lily's practice inclusive?
Lily holds lived experience and works with diverse populations. She finds her work incredibly rewarding.
Lily's practice is trauma-informed, culturally appropriate, LGBTQIA+, kink, sex work, non-monogamy and poly friendly.
Lily has also supported clients identifying as neurodiverse and living with a disability. NDIS enquiries are welcome.
12
How do I tell my therapist i'm ready to end sessions?
If you are feeling safe and well, the decision to end therapy is an exciting one, as it means you're likely feeling better and ready to tackle things on your own. This is cause for celebration! Your therapist should support you in your decision to end the therapeutic relationship.
If you would like to see a different therapist, you should speak openly and honestly to your therapist, and they should graciously refer you on. It is OK to end sessions or ask to be referred to a different therapist, and you should never be made to feel guilty about it!
